Literary Analysis Essay

I need my Literary Analysis Essay to be revised. My professor thinks its too repetitive and needs direct quotes and citations directly from the novel. Below is my thesis statment for the essay.
Thesis statement:

Throughout the Jonga’s journey, the novel “Behold the Dreamers”, proves that the essentials of hard work, education, and strong families are not enough for achieveing the American Dream. 

Mbue proves that the essentials of hard work, education, and strong families are not enough forachieving the American Dream.

Attached are
– the sources i picked out for the essay
– The instructions for the paper
– My paper that needs revision and re-writing
I need to do really well on this paper, If there are any questions about the assignment please feel free to reach out. Thank you!